Shut up Train
by totallyhot
Summary: Based on the song shut up train by Little Big Town. Jane cant go on without Maura. Sad and talks about suicide! You've been warned! One shot. Read, review, and enjoy!


**A/N: sorry if its a lil ooc **

**Jane's pov  
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_Shut up train I'm trying to sleep, can't you show me a little sympathy?_ _This is the only time I can get any peace, so shut up train I'm tryin to sleep. _

I tossed and turned all night. Tears of frustration slipped down my cheek. I didn't even bother wiping them away for I was so used to having them. I couldn't sleep without her. I used to wake up with her in my arms and I'd lay there listening to her steady breathing thinking I was the luckiest woman in the world. When I was little I would go to sleep to hide from the pain but not anymore. Her beautiful face haunts me in my dreams. I tried taking sleeping pills but I only awoke more tired and with more pain. Why did I have to fall in love with her? Why did she make me feel like I was a teenager falling in love again? Why did my heart melt even more every time she smiled? She didn't deserve this, and I don't deserve to live with out her. There's nothing worth living for. I quit my job. My mom takes care of Bass and Jo Friday. I stay in her bed all day. I wear her clothes all day. I bathe in her soaps. I miss her all day. Some days are better then others though. Those days are the days I'm to tired to feel emotion. I love those days because I can't think about you. I can only lay in her sheets and fall into a deep slumber.

_Every time the front door shakes, every time I hear the breaks and that long whistle cryin through the night. I'm reminded of the way i feel, Just like that cold black steel gettin crushed __by your wheels tonight. I don't need no more pain, so shut up train._

** Flashback**

**"Jane! Look wha****t I found!" Mau****ra ****hugged me before ****showing her a dirty** **stuffed turtle.**

**"What is it?" I asked running a hand over its surface. What once used to be a soft, light green turtle was now a dirty, rough, dark green turtle.**

**"It was my first tu****rtle, his name was Speedy" Maura looked at the little turtle closely. A tear formed remembering all the fond times she had with the turtle. ****Maura blinked letting the tear escape and it slowly made its way down. I saw the tear and wiped it away. I pulled my best friend into a hug and took a deep breath. Maura always smelled so good. Almost like a mix of sweat pea and violet** **and it stopped my heart every time I smelled it.** **That's when I knew. I knew I was deeply and helplessly in love with Maura Isles. I pulled away from the hug only to place on soft kiss on her lips. I expected her to pull away so I ****surprised when she kissed me back deepening the kiss. When oxygen became necessary we pulled apart with her head resting against my chest. **

**"Jane...I...I love you." Maura whispered. We had been together since and I loved every single minute of it. I just wanted to hold her every single second of the day. I can't even look at her now. Why couldn't I have been the one to get shot?  
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_I hope you're happy, now I am wide awake. Now I gotta deal with every ounce of this heartache. While your moving on I'm stuck in this place. It's all your fault so shut up train. Every time the front door shakes, every time i hear the breaks and that long whistle crying through the night. I'm reminded of the way I feel, just like that cold black steal gettin crushed by your wheels tonight. I can't take no more pain, so shut up train._

_Shut up train stop rubbin it in, you've made your point. I give up, you win._

I tried, I really did. I tried to live for you baby. I did everything I could but it still wasn't enough. I slept in your bed, wore your clothes, and used your shampoo. I still miss you though. They told me it would get better with each passing day_. _They lied because I only feel worse and my arms ache for you. I don't know how long it's been since that say. I don't even know what today is or what month it is. I don't care baby. The only thing I care about is you. I've been laying our couch for days and days just thinking of you. I bury my head in the cushions and just cry. Every tear that cascades down my cheek brings another 10 after it. They never relent on their plan to soak every thing in this house. Its time to go now baby. You won. You won my soul.

_All the noise all the pain every night same ole thing _

_Why don't you shut up train go on and shut up train_

_I give up raise the flag let you win_

_Why don't you shut up train go on and shut up train_

_Oh shut up train_

It's time babe. Time for me to be back in your arms. Time to end my suffering. Time for us to be together again. I want to see your smile. I want to feel your lips on mine. I want to smile for you instead of cry for you. This rope will bring us back together honey. I'm doing this for you Maura. Just for you.

_Shut up train._

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><p><strong>This is my first fanfiction story so please be nice. Tell me what you guys think :) Reviews are lovely. Also sorry it has bad grammar, its not my strongest subject<strong>

**Disclaimer: ****I D****ont own anything**_  
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